  |
はてなキーワード: eyesとは
__color__ hair,__hair__,__pose__,__color__ eyes,
{small|middle|large|huge} breast,
{,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|,|toddler body|voluptuous|thicc|abs|oppai loli},
blush,nude,embarrassed, (orgasm:1.4), (motion lines:1.4), (torogao:1.4),drool,
{smile|looking at viewer|angry|tear|scar|,|,|fear|ahegao |painful},
これでしばらく好みの絵がいっぱいでてくる
まずこの曲を挙げたい。
当時多くのプレイヤーにとって難関曲として練習された曲であり、
今でも音ゲー老人会の間では11月20日にこのハッシュタグで語り合っている歴史的名曲。
同じくビーマニシリーズからの選曲となるが、こちらも20,November同様高難易度楽曲かつ、
その楽曲の素晴らしさから多くのプレイヤーを魅了したのではなかろうか。
DDRがリリースされた当時、DDRプレイヤーは必ずこの曲をプレイしたはず。
いまだに筐体に足を踏み入れたら身体が覚えている、なんて人も多いのでは。
この「玉ねぎ先生のフルーシ道場」から音楽ゲームへ入った人も多いのでは。
苺を食らわば皿まで。
GoogleのCMにも使用された名曲。プレイした事が無くとも耳にした事のある人は多いだろう。
圧倒的な疾走感によりプレイヤーは文字通り激しく脳汁を分泌しながらプレイしたであろう。
個人的にはノスタルジアでのプレイをお勧めしたい。脳漿炸裂ガール以上に脳汁が分泌し、
東方Project関連楽曲としてはトップクラスの再生数を誇る有名曲。
音ゲーでプレイする人も相当数居た（今も居るかな？）と思われる。
最後に、普段音ゲーをプレイしない友人とプレイする際に第一選択肢として候補に上がることが多かったと思われる1曲を入れておきたい。
今回はかなり偏った選曲となってしまった事は自覚の上で書いてみた。
みなさんにとっての「忘れられない名曲」を是非教えて頂きたい。
他にもこんな増田を書いているので興味のある方は是非。
https://anond.hatelabo.jp/20241102140715
ジャンプ( https://anond.hatelabo.jp/20241012181121 )と
スピリッツ( https://anond.hatelabo.jp/20241014232424 )で
やってくれたなら、同じ月曜発売の週刊漫画誌、講談社のヤングマガジンでも挙げてみたいじゃあないですか。でも、5には収まらなかったので10作品
一作者一作品、ヤンマガ内でよりも、他に与えた影響の大きさを考慮
増刊連載作品だが、1993年時点でフルダイブ型VRMMORPGを活写した「ライトニング・ブリゲイド」の先駆性も見逃せない
【追記】
攻殻機動隊は1巻こそ増刊連載だけど、1.5と2には本誌連載部分があるので、本誌に掲載されたこともある、という事で許して欲しい。
あと、ヤンマガはギャグ作品も特異だったり良いのが多いのは確かなんだけど、後進に影響を与えたか、と言われると微妙なんだよね
上に挙げてないのだと
結婚式の披露宴のときに実際に流したけど、なかなかいいもんだった。
ゲーム中だと結婚式のイベントでずっと流れてるから、冒頭から流そうかと思ったけど、式場の人に「この曲はイメージとしては退場時の曲だからそっちの方が良い」と言われて退場時のときに流したぞ。
結婚式に結婚ワルツを流す人は結構いるみたいで、式場側のライブラリには普通にあった。N響版のやつだったかな。ルーラ版がいいとかコーラス版がいいとか言い出すと、自前で音源を用意する必要はあるけど、まあそこまではやらない。
他に結婚式に流せるようなゲームの曲はあるかと式場の人に聞くと、どうも式場側のライブラリにあるゲームの曲は2曲しかなくて、もう一つは確かFF8の「Eyes on me」だったはず。FF8に大して思い入れはなかったし、結婚ワルツ以外はバタフライとか、いかにも結婚式的な無難なチョイスで流したよ。
Once I had a quite cold attitude to Nagasaki’s Atomic Bomb Victims Memorial Peace Prayer Ceremony, I was like “here comes another Peace rally LMFAO”. But just look at this, the ambassador of Israel attacked Nagasaki’s mayor fiercely saying “The mayor took over the ceremony for his ideology”, a bigwig at the Simon Wiesenthal Center said “the Nagasaki’s atomic bomb ended World War 2” and now he’s criticizing the non-invitation of Israel’s rep to the ceremony as “unethical”, and top of that, the ambassador of the US, the one who dropped the atomic bomb, is talking nonsense, saying “if Israel don’t join we also don’t join lol.” With hearing all these I’m so surprised of finding myself very much pissed off…are you all making light off victims of such a cruel weapon you sons of bitch?
If you want to beat up the mayor of Nagasaki, it's fine to criticize the Shinkansen project in Kyushu area, corruption, welfare arrangement, or other issues (*This is just an example of some topics, I'm not claiming that I’m actually frustrated by any of these). But don’t these morons know that the Nagasaki’s peace ceremony is essentially a memorial ceremony? No one is crazy enough to start screaming in memorial service about his relatives whom he doesn’t like. If someone was yelling, ”Why didn't you invite me to the memorial service!!”, Its clear in everyone’s mind saying, ”It's because you behave that way..” … If you claim yourself as a grown-up, “it was really a shame, lets talk it over and get things straight” should be your response. Does Gillard Cohen realize that he is making a personal attack on someone who in Western terms would be the director of the Auschwitz museum?
(as a side note, I am fed up also to the vulgar accusation by the Palestinian Ambassador when Hiroshima City invited the Israel rep to their ceremony. Please go ahead and be aggressive in UN conferences, but again is that a proper behavior in connection with the memorial ceremony?)
I haven’t say enough to the reaction of reps of Western countries to Nagasaki. Why don’t you think twice before reacting impulsively? No doubt Japan is one of the most pro-Western countries in Asia, they support Ukraine most earnestly among Non-NATO countries. Still even quiet and shy Japanese people is totally put off by military operations of Israel. It is too easy to imagine how Israel is hated in non-pro-Western countries. When will you have an imagination to realize your such attitude making many countries having distance from Ukraine. If western countries close their eyes to horrors in Gaza and be determined to defend Israel anyway, why aren’t others allowed to keep their relationship with Russia even after devastating scenes in Bucha?
(btw I was so impressed when Zelenskyy expressed his support to Israel, are you serious? Don't you think of a scenario where Ukrainian militias rise up in Donetsk or in Luhansk, resulting in heavy casualties among Russian settlers, leading to Russia denouncing this as a despicable terrorist attack targeting Russian civilians? That's exactly what's happening in Palestine.)
Anyway you morons should come to your senses, and admit Israel’s outrageous actions are no difference from that of Russia. And know that calling the criticism to Israel as “antisemitism” is making you look so smart. Refusing Neo-Nazism ain’t discrimination to Germans, doxing Zaitokukai (*a nationalist group which calls for an end to state welfare and alleged privileges afforded to Koreans in Japan) ain’t Japanese-hate, and impeachment against Zionists ain’t anti-Jewish either.
海外在住でも自称弱者男性の俺が無償で英訳してやったぞ。乱暴な口調もできるだけ残しておいたんでGoogle翻訳にかけて粗を探すなり海外掲示板に投稿するなりどうぞ
Once I had a quite cold attitude to Nagasaki’s Atomic Bomb Victims Memorial Peace Prayer Ceremony, I was like “here comes another Peace rally LMFAO”. But just look at this, the ambassador of Israel attacked Nagasaki’s mayor fiercely saying “The mayor took over the ceremony for his ideology”, a bigwig at the Simon Wiesenthal Center said “the Nagasaki’s atomic bomb ended World War 2” and now he’s criticizing the non-invitation of Israel’s rep to the ceremony as “unethical”, and top of that, the ambassador of the US, the one who dropped the atomic bomb, is talking nonsense, saying “if Israel don’t join we also don’t join lol.” With hearing all these I’m so surprised of finding myself very much pissed off…are you all making light off victims of such a cruel weapon you sons of bitch?
If you want to beat up the mayor of Nagasaki, it's fine to criticize the Shinkansen project in Kyushu area, corruption, welfare arrangement, or other issues (*This is just an example of some topics, I'm not claiming that I’m actually frustrated by any of these). But don’t these morons know that the Nagasaki’s peace ceremony is essentially a memorial ceremony? No one is crazy enough to start screaming in memorial service about his relatives whom he doesn’t like. If someone was yelling, ”Why didn't you invite me to the memorial service!!”, Its clear in everyone’s mind saying, ”It's because you behave that way..” … If you claim yourself as a grown-up, “it was really a shame, lets talk it over and get things straight” should be your response. Does Gillard Cohen realize that he is making a personal attack on someone who in Western terms would be the director of the Auschwitz museum?
(as a side note, I am fed up also to the vulgar accusation by the Palestinian Ambassador when Hiroshima City invited the Israel rep to their ceremony. Please go ahead and be aggressive in UN conferences, but again is that a proper behavior in connection with the memorial ceremony?)
I haven’t say enough to the reaction of reps of Western countries to Nagasaki. Why don’t you think twice before reacting impulsively? No doubt Japan is one of the most pro-Western countries in Asia, they support Ukraine most earnestly among Non-NATO countries. Still even quiet and shy Japanese people is totally put off by military operations of Israel. It is too easy to imagine how Israel is hated in non-pro-Western countries. When will you have an imagination to realize your such attitude making many countries having distance from Ukraine. If western countries close their eyes to horrors in Gaza and be determined to defend Israel anyway, why aren’t others allowed to keep their relationship with Russia even after devastating scenes in Bucha?
(btw I was so impressed when Zelenskyy expressed his support to Israel, are you serious? Don't you think of a scenario where Ukrainian militias rise up in Donetsk or in Luhansk, resulting in heavy casualties among Russian settlers, leading to Russia denouncing this as a despicable terrorist attack targeting Russian civilians? That's exactly what's happening in Palestine.)
Anyway you morons should come to your senses, and admit Israel’s outrageous actions are no difference from that of Russia. And know that calling the criticism to Israel as “antisemitism” is making you look so smart. Refusing Neo-Nazism ain’t discrimination to Germans, doxing Zaitokukai (*a nationalist group which calls for an end to state welfare and alleged privileges afforded to Koreans in Japan) ain’t Japanese-hate, and impeachment against Zionists ain’t anti-Jewish either.
5年ぶりの新曲。仕方ないけど、声低くなってる。年齢には勝てなかったか。昔の曲歌えなさそう。なんかパッとしない曲で残念。
https://open.spotify.com/track/6p8SZOytmthKLKfB95viaY
今年ヒットがないYOASOBI。そこそこ良いけどもう一つな感じ。〈物語〉シリーズ オフ＆モンスターシーズンのタイアップ
https://open.spotify.com/track/5NxmDq0yXBYGfCbMqvIXuv
テレ朝のスポーツ応援ソング。ロックソングのようで構成も面白く、元気が出る歌。良いけど前に出したライラックの勢いには負けるかも。MV批判があったコロンブスも割とヒットしてる
https://open.spotify.com/track/41PdvmQ3BrbEoMReSDCDGP
ヒロアカ映画の主題歌。カッコいいけど売れまくる感じではないか。映画には合ってそう
https://open.spotify.com/track/3CmVQtVx9KlzOuPhRJRShH
映画ビリオン×スクール主題歌。やっぱり歌唱力エグい。唯一無二。今回の歌は売れ線ではないか
https://open.spotify.com/track/6UuxnR9zgvzpFS6YvfCqFL
絶え間なく新曲出すのすごい。カルピスCMソング。肩の力が抜けた感じのゆるりとしたフォークロック
https://open.spotify.com/track/5Fzv7ho7XOwvvEOvxFnnTp、
新アルバムからの先行シングル。喉を痛めてからヒット曲が出てなくて寂しいが、これもちょっと地味な歌でヒットはしなさそう
https://open.spotify.com/track/1Yt3MmQ1BtUS0CAeL0LxZp
`I see nobody on the road,' said Alice.
`I only wish I had such eyes,' the King remarked in a fretful tone. `To be able to see Nobody! And at that distance, too! Why, it's as much as I can do to see real people, by this light!'
「道には誰もいません(I see nobody)」とアリスは言いました。
中国笙とオーケストラのための《Pink Elephant in Prentis》w/ score
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iRGrZTa6Jo
"Pink Elephant in Prentis" for alto sheng and orchestra
Commissioned and premiered by Shanghai Philharmonic Orchestra (cond. Zhang Liang)
Prentis Hall is a building in New York City, where I spent a year (2015-2016) living in a sleeping bag and taking showers in the toilet. Prentis was built in 1909 and was initially designed as a pasteurization facility and milk bottling plant, then later used as a Heat Transfer Research Facility, conducting nuclear research and experiments, during the Manhattan Project. Columbia University acquired the building in 1949, and the building has housed Columbia’s Computer Music Center (then Columbia-Princeton Electronic Music Center) from the 1950s onwards. During my time there at the Computer Music Center, I have spent my days and nights exploring stimulating sounds using both analog and digital synthesizers, tape recorders, CTR monitors, and other equipments unfamiliar to me back then. Aside from the Computer Music Center, the building also housed studios for visual artists, and so I was able to meet many eccentric artists, where we ended up having long conversations every night on both significant and insignificant issues surrounding us.
Located on 125th Street in Manhattan, the “residents” of Prentis Hall were constantly harassed by the rumblings of the New York City Subway (which runs aboveground for 125th Street Station), the traffic from the highway nearby, the bustling of the streets of New York, and the construction noises from the nearby building sites. At nights, the screeching noises from the metal shop and the wood shop constantly rang throughout the building. At one point in time, the noise inspired me to imagine a gigantic pink elephant running through the narrow corridors of Prentis. The head and front half of the body was seemingly a normal elephant found in the wild. However, as I scanned my eyes further back, the body of the animal seemed to become more and more pixelated, and small 3D blocks were clearly visible on its back and hind legs, as if molded by an amateur creator in a Minecraft game. As the elephant advanced, some blocks fell onto the floor like water droplets falling from an animal soaked in water. I rubbed my eyes and shook my head, certain that I have entered a dream at some point during the night. The pink elephant walked past me and wandered into one of the many rooms the building offered. I timidly peeked into the room where the pink elephant disappeared into. The pink elephant seemed to have collapsed on the floor, its body, both the organic front and the pixelated back, expanding and shrinking as it sluggishly inhaled and exhaled oxygen.
After hours of staring at the pink elephant, I jumped back at a sudden startling noise from behind, which woke the pink elephant from its deep slumber. Furious, the pink elephant stood on its two pixelated hind legs, and stomped out into the corridors again, this time shaking off more 3D blocks from its back than when it first arrived. The organic front seemed to start to bloat up like a balloon for reasons unknown to me, and the pixelated back grew smaller and smaller due to its parts crumbling down on the floor. In a blink of an eye, the inflated front side split from its pixelated rear, then with a deafening pop, exploded into thin air like a burst balloon. What was left were the pink 3D blocks of all sizes, scattered around on the corridors of Prentis Hall.
Chatori Shimizu: https://www.chatorishimizu.com/
Shanghai Philharmonic Orchestra: https://www.shphilharmonic.com/
ChatGPTに犬の絵を描いてもらった
なかなかおもちろいわね
import matplotlib.pyplot as plt import numpy as np # Correcting the inversion of the y-axis to ensure the dog is drawn in the correct orientation. def draw_dog_correct_orientation(): # Points for the dog's head head_top = np.array([[0.3, 0.55], [0.35, 0.45], [0.45, 0.42], [0.55, 0.42], [0.65, 0.45], [0.7, 0.55]]) head_bottom = np.array([[0.7, 0.6], [0.68, 0.65], [0.5, 0.7], [0.32, 0.65], [0.3, 0.6], [0.3, 0.55]]) # Points for the dog's body body_top = np.array([[0.5, 0.7], [0.5, 0.75], [0.7, 0.8], [0.72, 0.85], [0.74, 0.9]]) body_bottom = np.array([[0.74, 0.9], [0.7, 0.95], [0.4, 0.95], [0.36, 0.9], [0.34, 0.85], [0.36, 0.8], [0.5, 0.75]]) # Points for the dog's tail tail = np.array([[0.34, 0.85], [0.2, 0.9]]) # Points for the dog's ears right_ear = np.array([[0.65, 0.45], [0.78, 0.42], [0.78, 0.38], [0.65, 0.35]]) left_ear = np.array([[0.35, 0.45], [0.22, 0.42], [0.22, 0.38], [0.35, 0.35]]) # Create a new figure plt.figure(figsize=(6.4, 4.8)) # 640x480 pixels # Draw the dog's head plt.plot(np.append(head_top[:, 0], head_bottom[:, 0]), np.append(head_top[:, 1], head_bottom[:, 1]), 'k-', linewidth=1) # Head # Draw the dog's body plt.plot(body_top[:, 0], body_top[:, 1], 'k-', linewidth=1) # Body top plt.plot(body_bottom[:, 0], body_bottom[:, 1], 'k-', linewidth=1) # Body bottom # Draw the dog's tail plt.plot(tail[:, 0], tail[:, 1], 'k-', linewidth=1) # Tail # Draw the dog's ears plt.plot(right_ear[:, 0], right_ear[:, 1], 'k-', linewidth=1) # Right ear plt.plot(left_ear[:, 0], left_ear[:, 1], 'k-', linewidth=1) # Left ear # Draw the eyes plt.plot([0.45, 0.45], [0.53, 0.53], 'ko') # Left eye plt.plot([0.55, 0.55], [0.53, 0.53], 'ko') # Right eye # Draw the nose plt.plot([0.5, 0.5], [0.6, 0.6], 'ko') # Nose # Configure the plot plt.axis('off') # No axis plt.xlim(0, 1) plt.ylim(1, 0) # Correct the orientation by flipping the y-axis # Show the plot plt.show() draw_dog_correct_orientation()
In a discussion about the case, someone raised an objection to "someone who was not a party to the incident, who was not from Nagasaki, and who was not from Hiroshima, complaining about it. Seeing that opinion made me aware of my position, so I will say what I must say.
I was born in Nagasaki and am a third-generation A-bomb survivor.
I say this because I grew up hearing the stories of the A-bomb damage directly from those who suffered from the atomic bombings.
I feel that it is unacceptable for someone like me to speak about the A-bomb damage.
However, there are few A-bomb survivors left, so I will speak up.
In Nagasaki, children grow up hearing stories about the atomic bombing. We were made to sit in the gymnasium of an elementary school in the middle of summer, where there was not even an air conditioner or a fan, and for nearly an hour we were made to listen to stories about the atomic bombing. It was hard for me anyway.
I think it was even more painful for the elderly people who told the stories. But I don't think an elementary school kid could have imagined that. I, too, have forgotten most of the stories I was told. I can only remember one or two at most.
Another thing is that at this time of year, pictures of the victims of the atomic bombing are pasted up in the hallways.
In other parts of the country, these are grotesque images that would cause a fuss from the parents who are always nagging about them.
Recently, even the A-bomb museum has become more gentle in its exhibits, and most of the radical and horrifying exhibits that would have traumatized visitors have been removed.
I don't know how elementary schools now teach about the A-bomb damage. But when I was in elementary school, there were photos on display.
There was one photo that I just couldn't face as an elementary school student. It was a picture of Taniguchi Sumiteru(谷口稜曄). If you search for it, you can find it. It is a shocking picture, but I would still like you to see it.
I couldn't pass through the hallway where the photo was displayed, so I always took the long way around to another floor to avoid seeing the photo.
My grandfather was under the bomb and went to the burnt ruins of the bomb to look for his sister. I can understand now that he couldn't turn away or go another way.
There would have been a mountain of people still alive and moaning in the ruins of the burnt ruins. There would have been many more who would have died out in agony.
My grandfather walked for miles and miles, towing a rear wheelchair, through the narrow streets of rubble-strewn Nagasaki in search of his sister.
My grandfather was not a child then. But of course there were elementary school children who did the same thing he did. I am not speculating that there were. There were. I heard the story from him, and I still remember it.
A young brother and sister found their father's corpse in the ruins of the fire and burned it themselves. They didn't have enough wood to burn him alive, and when they saw his brain spilling out, they ran away, and that was the last time they ever saw him again.
I can never forget that story I heard when I was a kid, and even now it's painful and painful, my hands are shaking and I'm crying.
I keep wondering how that old man who ran away from his father's brain was able to expose to the public the unimaginably horrible trauma, the scar that will never heal, even after all these years.
Now I think I understand a little.
Why I can't help but talk about my grandfather and the old man now, even as I remember my own trauma.
Because this level of suffering is nothing compared to their words being forgotten.
It's nothing compared to the tremendous suffering that once existed that will be forgotten, like my hands shaking, my heart palpitating, my nose running with vertigo, and so on.
My grandfather, who went through an unimaginable hell, lived to see his grandchildren born, and met his sister's death in the ruins of the fire.
In other words, my grandfather was one of the happiest people in the ruins of the fire.
My grandfather and that old man were, after all, just people wading in the depths of hell.
I think that the suffering that even people who had experienced unimaginable pain could not imagine was lying like pebbles on the ground in Nagasaki 78 years ago, and no one paid any attention to it.
Their suffering, which I can't even imagine, is nothing compared to the countless, unimaginable suffering they witnessed, which they pretend never happened.
Memories fade inexorably with each passing human mouth. The memories that those people could never allow to be forgotten are almost forgotten.
The tremendous suffering of 78 years ago is mostly gone, never to be recounted.
Those who suffered the most from the atomic bombing died rotting in the ruins of the fire without being able to tell anyone about it.
Many of those who saw it with their own eyes kept their mouths shut and took it with them to their graves. Most of those who spoke a few words are still in their graves.
Compared to the words of the old men, my own words are so light. I would rather keep my mouth shut than speak in such light words.
But still, someone has to take over. I realize that even my words, which are so light, are only the top of the voices that are left in this world to carry on the story of the atomic bombing.
I know how it feels to think that I am the only one. Still, I hope that you will not shut your mouth. I know that I have closed my mouth because I thought I shouldn't talk about it, and that is the result.
Sometimes I almost choose to stop imagining the unimaginable suffering and live my life consuming other people's suffering for fun.
I am writing this while I still have some imagination of the suffering of the old people whose voices, faces, and even words I can no longer recall.
すまん。勝手に翻訳した。拡散はどうするかな。redditとかに投稿するのがいいのか?
----
I have seen some posts asking if they should talk about "the case" even though they were not involved in it and were not born in Nagasaki or Hiroshima, and I am a bit aware of it, so I have to say what I have to say. I say this because I was born in Nagasaki, am a third generation atomic bomb survivor, and grew up hearing the stories of those who experienced the atomic bombing firsthand. I know it's a little bit too much for me, but I'm going to say this because there are very few survivors left.
In Nagasaki, children grow up hearing stories about the atomic bombing. They were stuffed into sushi for nearly an hour in the gymnasium of an elementary school in the middle of summer, with no air conditioner or fan, and told stories about the atomic bombing. That was a hard time for me. I think it must have been even harder for the old people who told the stories, but there was no way an elementary school kid could imagine such a thing, and I had forgotten most of the stories I had been told for a long time. I have forgotten most of the stories I was told. I can only remember one or two at most. There is one more hard thing. Every year around this time, a row of grotesque images that would drive the PTA crazy in other areas are prominently displayed in the hallways. These days, I hear that the atomic bomb museum has been bleached out and many of the radical and horrifying exhibits that traumatized visitors have been taken down. I don't know if they are still there, but they were there when I was in elementary school.
There was one photo that I just couldn't face when I was in elementary school. It is a picture of Sumiteru Taniguchi. If you search for it, you can find it. It is a shocking picture, but I would like you to take a look at it. I couldn't pass through the hallway where the photo was posted, so I always took the long way around to another floor of the school building to avoid seeing the photo.
Now I'm thinking that my grandfather, who headed into the burnt ruins to look for his sister, couldn't have turned away or taken a different path. There would have been a mountain of people still alive and moaning, not just pictures, and a mountain more who would have given up at the end of their suffering. He walked for miles and miles, towing his handcart through the narrow streets of rubble-strewn Nagasaki in search of his sister. My grandfather was not a child at the time, but of course there were children who did similar things. Not that there wouldn't have been. There were. I heard the story from him, and I still remember it. A young brother and sister found their father's body in the ruins of a fire and they burned it. They didn't have enough wood to burn his body, and when they saw the raw brain that spilled out, they ran away and that was the last time they ever saw him anymore.
I can never forget the story I heard when I was a kid, and even now it is painful and painful, my hands are shaking and I am crying. I keep wondering how the old man who escaped from that father's brain could have been able to unravel the most horrible trauma imaginable and expose it to the public with scars that will never heal.
Now I think I can understand a little.
The reason I can't help but talk about my grandfather and that old man, even if I have to rehash my own trauma, is that this level of suffering is nothing compared to the fact that their words will be forgotten. My hands shaking, my heart palpitating and dizzy, my nose running with tears, it's nothing compared to the tremendous suffering that was once there and will be forgotten.
My grandfather, who went through an unimaginable hell, lived to see his grandchildren born, and met his sister's death in the ruins of the fire. In other words, my grandfather was one of the happiest people in the ruins of the fire. My grandfather and that old man were, after all, just people wading in the depths of hell. I think that the suffering that even people who had experienced unimaginable pain could not imagine was lying like pebbles in Nagasaki 78 years ago, and no one paid any attention to it. Their suffering, which I can't even imagine, is nothing compared to the countless, tremendous suffering they witnessed, which they pretend never happened.
Memories fade inexorably every time people talk about them. The memories that those people could not allow to be forgotten are now largely forgotten; the tremendous suffering of 78 years ago is mostly gone, never to be recounted again. Those who suffered the most from the atomic bombing died rotting in the ruins of the fire, unable to tell anyone about it. Many of those who saw it with their own eyes kept their mouths shut and took it with them to their graves. Most of those who spoke a few words are now under the grave.
Compared to the words of the old men, my own words are so light. I would rather keep my mouth shut than speak in such light words. But still, someone has to take over. I realize that even my words, which are so light, are only the top of the voices that are left in this world to carry on the story of the atomic bombing. I know how it feels to wonder if someone like myself is allowed to speak about this. Still, I hope that you will not shut your mouth. This is the result of our silence.
Sometimes I almost choose to stop imagining the unimaginable suffering and live my life consuming other people's suffering for the fun of it. I am writing this while I still have some imagination of the suffering of the old people whose voices, faces, and even words I can no longer recall.
Translator's note: The original post in Japanese is a response to a post by a Japanese contributor who wondered if he was qualified to speak out on the subject of the A-bomb when he was not from Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but still spoke out about Barbie and the A-bomb. I translated it here because I think it deserves to be read by the world.
I must talk about various things regarding the Barbie incident.
I saw a post about it from someone who is neither directly involved nor from Nagasaki or Hiroshima, and it made me realize that there are things I must say.
I was born in Nagasaki and grew up listening to stories from the survivors, being a third-generation survivor myself. Most survivors are no longer with us, so I feel compelled to speak up.
In Nagasaki, kids grow up hearing about the atomic bomb. We were packed like sushi in a gymnasium without air conditioning or even fans during the scorching summer, and we listened to stories about the bomb. It was incredibly tough for me.
I imagine it was even harder for the elderly who spoke about their experiences. As a child, I couldn't fully comprehend their pain, and now, I can hardly remember most of the stories I heard. I can only recall one or two.
Every year during this time, gruesome images that would make PTA elsewhere go crazy were displayed in the hallways. I heard that many of the horrifying exhibits that used to traumatize visitors at the Atomic Bomb Museum have been removed, and the museum has been considerably sanitized. I'm not sure about the current situation, but that's how it was when I was there.
There was one photograph that I could never bear to look at as a child – a picture of Tadashi Taniguchi. You can find it if you search, but it's a shocking image with a viewer discretion warning. Still, I want people to see it.
I couldn't walk down the hallway where that photo was displayed, and I always took a different route, avoiding it so I wouldn't have to see it.
Now, I think of my grandpa who went to the ruins to search for my sister. He couldn't look away or take a different path. The pain must have been unimaginable.
Besides photographs, there were many living people moaning in pain back then, and there must have been even more who succumbed to suffering.
My grandpa walked for miles, pulling a handcart through the debris-laden streets of Nagasaki, searching for my sister.
Even though my grandpa was not a child, I'm sure there were elementary school kids who did similar things. I don't just think they might have been there; they were there. I heard the stories from the people themselves, and I still remember them.
I can't forget the stories I heard as a child, such as the young siblings finding their father's burnt corpse in the ruins and cremating him. They didn't have enough firewood, and their father ended up half-burnt. They ran away after seeing the brain tissue oozing out, and that became their final farewell.
I can never forget those stories I heard as a child, and even now, they still bring pain and suffering, making my hands tremble and tears flow.
I wonder how my grandpa, who ran away from that father's brain tissue, could expose his unimaginable trauma and everlasting scars to the world.
Now, I feel like I understand a little.
Even someone like me, who experienced such unimaginable trauma, has gone through pain that I can't even imagine being compared to being discarded, forgotten, and ignored. Compared to what those people experienced, my suffering means nothing.
My trembling hands and the palpitations and dizziness I experienced are nothing compared to the tremendous pain that many others went through.
Memories fade irreversibly every time they pass through people's lips. The memories that I couldn't bear to be forgotten are almost forgotten now.
The unimaginable pain that existed 78 years ago has mostly disappeared, and we can no longer pass it on.
The people who suffered the most from the atomic bomb perished in the ruins, rotting away without being able to convey it to anyone.
Even those who saw it with their own eyes mostly took the memories with them to their graves. Most of them are now under the tombstones.
Compared to the words of the elderly, my words seem so light. I think that speaking with such light words would be better than keeping silent, as silence has led to this result.
I feel like I might occasionally choose to stop imagining the unimaginable pain and consume the suffering of others in an amusing way to live on.
Before I forget the pain and suffering of those elderly people, whose faces and voices I can no longer recall, I will leave this here.
