Steven Wright Quotes About Pets

Quotes about: Pets

• I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store and said, "Give me another ten guppies, I got a lot of calls yesterday."

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Phones

• I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

  Steven Wright

  Dog, Pet, Gone

• I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Car

• My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

  Steven Wright

  Elephants, Pet, Comedy

• When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.

  Steven Wright

  Snakes, Owning A Pet, Adorable

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