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Fools

From Wikiquote
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. ~ Douglas Adams

A fool refers to someone being ignorant and confused about matters; someone duped, an unwise person or a madman.

For the play by Neil Simon, see Fools (play)

Quotes

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The three greatest fools of History have been Jesus Christ, Don Quixote . . . and me! ~ Simón Bolívar
It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will speak. ~ Neil Gaiman
I have great faith in fools — self-confidence my friends will call it. ~ Edgar Allen Poe
Any fool can make a rule
And any fool will mind it. ~ Henry David Thoreau
Alphabetized by author or source
  • A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
  • Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
  • Trouble comes looking for you if you’re a fool.
  • FOOL, n. A person who pervades the domain of intellectual speculation and diffuses himself through the channels of moral activity. He is omnific, omniform, omnipercipient, omniscience, omnipotent. He it was who invented letters, printing, the railroad, the steamboat, the telegraph, the platitude and the circle of the sciences. He created patriotism and taught the nations war—founded theology, philosophy, law, medicine and Chicago. He established monarchical and republican government. He is from everlasting to everlasting—such as creation's dawn beheld he fooleth now. In the morning of time he sang upon primitive hills, and in the noonday of existence headed the procession of being. His grandmotherly hand was warmly tucked-in the set sun of civilization, and in the twilight he prepares Man's evening meal of milk-and-morality and turns down the covers of the universal grave. And after the rest of us shall have retired for the night of eternal oblivion he will sit up to write a history of human civilization.
  • Un sot trouve toujours un plus sot qui l'admire.
    • Translation: A fool always finds one still more foolish to admire him.
    • Variant A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him.
    • Nicolas Boileau-Despréaux, L'Art Poétique (The Art of Poetry), Canto I, l. 232 (1674).
  • The three greatest fools of History have been Jesus Christ, Don Quixote . . . and me!
    • Simón Bolívar, words reportedly said to his physician in his final days, but not his last words, as quoted in Our Lord Don Quixote : The Life of Don Quixote and Sancho, with Related Essays (1967) by Miguel de Unamuno, as translated by Anthony Kerrigan, p. 386
    • Variant translations or versions:
    • The three greatest fools (majaderos) of history have been Jesus Christ, Don Quixote — and I!
      • As quoted in Simón Bolívar and Spanish American Independence, 1783-1830 (1968) by John J. Johnson and Doris M. Ladd, p. 115.
    • The three greatest idiots in history, have been Jesus Christ, Don Quixote, and myself.
      • As quoted in Nineteenth-century Gallery : Portraits of Power and Rebellion (1970) by Stanley Edward Ayling, p. 122.
    • In the course of history, there have been three radicals: Jesus Christ, Don Quixote, and... me.
    • The three biggest fools in the world have been Jesus Christ, Don Quixote, and... me.
    • Jesus Christ, Don Quixote and I: three greatest fools of history.
    • We have sown the sea — Jesus Christ, Don Quixote and me: the three great fools of history...
    • I’ve been plowing in the sea. Jesus Christ, Don Quixote and I — the three great mavericks of history.
  • Foolproof systems do not take into account the ingenuity of fools.
  • The reason why fools and knaves thrive better in the world than wiser and honester men is because they are nearer to the general temper of mankind, which is nothing but a mixture of cheat and folly.
  • Twenty-seven millions, mostly fools.
    • Thomas Carlyle, Latter-Day Pamphlets (1850), no. 6, p. 15, used several times in reference to the citizens of Great Britain. Champ Clark, referring to this remark added, "While the percentage of fools in this country is not so large, there are still enough to fatten the swindlers…. The percentage of fools in this country is not so great as Carlyle states it, but nevertheless it is quite large."—Champ Clark, My Quarter Century of American Politics (1920), p. 213.
  • “So the princes thought, the fools!”...
    “Why ‘fools’?” she demanded.
    “Because they confuse that which they wish to be true with that which is true.”
    • Lin Carter, Vault of Silence, in Robert Hoskins (ed.) Swords Against Tomorrow (1970), p. 99 (ellipsis represents elision of a short passage of description)
  • You will be amused when you see that I have more than once deceived without the slightest qualm of conscience, both knaves and fools. As to the deceit perpetrated upon women, let it pass, for, when love is in the way, men and women as a general rule dupe each other. But on the score of fools it is a very different matter. I always feel the greatest bliss when I recollect those I have caught in my snares, for they generally are insolent, and so self-conceited that they challenge wit. We avenge intellect when we dupe a fool, and it is a victory not to be despised for a fool is covered with steel and it is often very hard to find his vulnerable part. In fact, to gull a fool seems to me an exploit worthy of a witty man.
  • These are fools that men adore; both their Gods & their men are fools. This verse establishes uncompromisingly that all Gods — G capital, that is to say, 'true Gods' — and all men deified by legend or deceit — that is to say, false gods' — are fools. How come? It is a key. Distinction is clearly made between the two types: one are Gods; the other is men.
  • Wise men learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
    • Cato the Elder, Plutarch's Life of Cato
    • Variant: Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men; for the wise men shun the mistakes of fools, but fools do not imitate the successes of the wise.
  • Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.
    • George Chapman in All Fools (1605), act V, scene ii, lines 205–6. This was a common proverb which appeared not only in Chapman's play, first published in 1605, but in other works as well. See The Oxford Dictionary of English Proverbs (1970), p. 927–28.
  • Someone who believes in all the stories of the Baal Shem Tov and the other mystics and holy men is a fool; someone who looks at any single story and says “That one could not be true” is a heretic.
    • Chassidic proverb [1]
  • 'Tis hard if all is false that I advance,
    A fool must now and then be right by chance.
  • For there is no remembrance of the wise more than of the fool for ever; seeing that which now is in the days to come shall all be forgotten. And how dieth the wise man? as the fool.
  • Every man is made a fool through his own wisdom.
  • We assemble parliaments and councils, to have the benefit of their collected wisdom; but we necessarily have, at the same time, the inconvenience of their collected passions, prejudices, and private interests. By the help of these, artful men overpower their wisdom, and dupe its possessors; and if we may judge by the acts, arrêts, and edicts, all the world over, for regulating commerce, an assembly of great men is the greatest fool upon earth.
    • Benjamin Franklin, letter to Benjamin Vaughan, July 26, 1784; in Albert H. Smyth, ed., The Writings of Benjamin Franklin (1906), vol. 9, p. 241.
  • A wise man changes his mind sometimes, but a fool never. To change your mind is the best evidence you have one. The last redoubt holding out for me was the year-day principle (on which I had written a defense in 1972 for the Southern Publishing Association Daniel volume which was published in 1978). This collapsed when I handled hundreds of books of commentary on Revelation in the Library of Congress stacks and found that the respective authors had in many cases suggested dates that seemed appropriate for their own time but ridiculous later. It became clear that we, as Adventists, had done the same as our predecessors.
  • It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will speak.
  • The world is filled with fools, but none of them considers himself one, or tries not to be one.
  • Hope maketh fol man ofte blenkes.
  • There are two kinds of fools: one says, "This is old, therefore it is good"; the other says, "This is new, therefore it is better."
  • The foolish have us far more in their power than the wise.
    • Jean Ingelow, Sarah de Berenger: A Novel (Boston: Roberts Brothers, 1879), Chapter XI, p. 132.
  • There can be little doubt that it is the fools, and not the wise, who govern the world. While the wise are considering, the fools act; while the wise investigate, the fools have made up their minds; by the time the wise have discovered, the fools have made arrangements, and the wise, for the sake of law and order, or, if not, for the sake of peace and quietness, are obliged to give way.
    • Jean Ingelow, Sarah de Berenger: A Novel (Boston: Roberts Brothers, 1879), Chapter XXXV, p. 395.
  • If people keep opposing you when you are right, you think them fools; and after a time, right or wrong, you think them fools simply because they oppose you.
    • Randall Jarrell, “Poets: Old, New, and Aging”, p. 44, Kipling, Auden & Co: Essays and Reviews 1935-1964 (1980).
  • All men are fools, if truth be told, but the ones in motley are more amusing than the ones with crowns.
  • You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’
    But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
  • A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
  • Few human creatures would consent to be changed into any of the lower animals for a promise of the fullest allowance of a beast’s pleasures; no intelligent human being would consent to be a fool, no instructed person would be an ignoramus, no person of feeling and conscience would be selfish and base, even though they should be persuaded that the fool, the dunce, or the rascal is better satisfied with his lot than they are with theirs.
  • "The guy goes into the hospital, okay? His wife's just had a baby and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the doctor and he says, 'Oh, Doc, I've been so worried. How are they?' And the doctor smiles and says, 'They're fine. Just fine. Your wife's delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form. You're one lucky guy.' So the guy rushes into the maternity ward with his flowers. But it's empty. His wife's bed is empty. 'Doc?' He says and turns around and the doctor and all the nurses wave their arms and scream in his face. 'April fools! Your wife's dead and the baby's a spastic!!'" (he executes an asylum orderly with a gunshot to the head) "Get it? Oh what a senseless waste of human life!"
  • There are three kinds of fools in this world, fools proper, educated fools and rich fools. The world persists because of the folly of these fools.
  • I have great faith in fools — self-confidence my friends will call it.
  • Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread.
  • For, as blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.
    • Alexander Pope, Thoughts on Various Subjects, published in Swift's Miscellanies (1727).
  • Some old men, by continually praising the time of their youth, would almost persuade us that there were no fools in those days; but unluckily they are left themselves for examples.
    • Alexander Pope, Thoughts on Various Subjects, published in Swift's Miscellanies (1727).
  • The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
    • Proverbs 1:7, (King James Version)
  • A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool's eyes wander to the ends of the earth.
    • Proverbs 17:24, (New International Version)
  • Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.
    • Proverbs 17:28, (New International Version)
  • Il y a des gens niais qui se connaissent, et qui emploient habilement leur niaiserie.
    • There are foolish people who know and who skillfully use their folly.
    • François de La Rochefoucauld, Maximes (1665–1678), No. 208. Translation: J. W. Willis Bund and J. Hain Friswell (1871).
    • Variant: There are foolish people who recognize their foolishness and use it skillfully.
  • Il n'y a point de sots si incommodes que ceux qui ont de l'esprit.
    • No fools so wearisome as those who have some wit.
    • François de La Rochefoucauld, Maximes (1665–1678), No. 451. Translation: J. W. Willis Bund and J. Hain Friswell (1871).
    • Variant: No fools are so difficult to manage as those with some brains.
  • He had what my brother Walt used to call his Eureka Look, and he wanted to tell me that he thought he finally knew why Christ said to call no man Fool. (It was a problem that had been baffling him all week, because it sounded to him like a piece of advice, I believe, more typical of Emily Post than of someone busily about his Father's Business.) Christ had said it, Seymour thought I'd want to know, because there are no fools. Dopes, yes—fools, no.
  • Often I look back and see that I had been many kinds of a fool - and that I had been happy in being this or that kind of fool. I can see too that often I changed from being one kind of fool into another kind fo fool I was happy about it because I didn't know what had happened.
    • Carl Sandburg, Ever the Winds of Chance (1983)
  • No Man is so much a Fool as not to have Wit enough sometimes to be a Knave ; nor any so cunning a Knave, as not to have the Weakness sometimes to play the Fool.
  • How does the fool build his paradise?—out of the crumbling bricks of illusion and the watery cement of hope.
  • Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?
  • A young man sees a terribly venomous snake in his small village. Nervous, he watches the snake carefully until it leaves.The young man follows the snake into the forest. He clears the branches out of its path and helps it over obstacles. He even works to keep it fed. Many nights pass and still the young man continues to follow the snake. He even follows it into the sands of the great desert. In the desert, the snake eventually grows hungry. It turns and bites the young man, its poison quickly working its way into his system. Finally curious, the snake looks at the boy as he lays dying and asks, "Why were you foolish enough to follow me all the way out into the desert?" The boy looks back and replies, "Did I follow you? I thought I was leading you away from everyone else..." And then he died.
    • Jolee Bindo to Revan, in Star Wars, Knights of the Old Republic.
  • 'Tis an old maxim in the schools,
    That flattery's the food of fools;
    Yet now and then your men of wit
    Will condescend to take a bit.
  • When I hear any man talk of an unalterable law, the only effect it produces upon me is to convince me that he is an unalterable fool.
  • Taciturnitas stulto homini pro sapientia est.
    • Translation: Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
    • Publius Syrus, Maxim 914.
  • To bankrupt a fool, give him information.
    • Nassim Nicholas Taleb, The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms (2010) Preludes, p.4.
  • Education makes the wise slightly wiser, but it makes the fool vastly more dangerous.
    • Nassim Nicholas Taleb, The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms (2010) Preludes, p.5.
  • We learn the most from fools ... yet we pay them back with the worst ingratitude.
    • Nassim Nicholas Taleb, The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms (2010) Being a Philosopher and Managing to Remain One, p. 85.
  • Any fool can make a rule
    And any fool will mind it.
  • Fools rush in where angels fear to tread, and the angels are all in heaven, but few of the fools are dead.
  • Now and then there's a fool such as I am over you
    You taught me how to love
    And now you say that we are through
    I'm a fool, but I'll love you dear
    Until the day I die
    Now and then there's a fool such as I.
  • The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
    • Mark Twain, as quoted in Deduction : Introductory Symbolic Logic (2002) by Daniel A. Bonevac, p. 56.
  • The world is made up, for the most part, of fools and knaves, both irreconcilable foes to truth.
    • George Villiers, 2nd Duke of Buckingham, in "Letter to Mr. Clifford, on his Human Reason"; also in The Works of His Grace, George Villiers, the Duke of Buckingham (London: T. Evans, 1770) vol. 2, p. 105.
  • The best way in which to silence any friend of yours whom you know to be a fool is to induce him to hire a hall. Nothing chills pretense like exposure.
    • Woodrow Wilson, remarks to the Motion Picture Board of Trade, New York City (January 27, 1916); in Arthur S. Link, ed., The Papers of Woodrow Wilson (1981), vol. 36, p. 17.
  • I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking. It cannot be so easily discovered if you allow him to remain silent and look wise, but if you let him speak, the secret is out and the world knows that he is a fool.
    • Woodrow Wilson, “That Quick Comradeship of Letters,” address at the Institute of France, Paris, May 10, 1919. — The Public Papers of Woodrow Wilson, ed. Ray Stannard Baker and William E. Dodd, vol. 5, p. 484 (1927).
  • Be wise with speed;
    A fool at forty is a fool indeed.
  • At thirty, man suspects himself a fool;
    Knows it at forty, and reforms his plan.
  • Don't approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a fool from any side.
    • Anonymous Yiddish Proverb, as quoted in Quotable Quotes (1997) by the Editors of Reader's Digest
  • Face a bear robbed of her cubs,
but never fools in their folly!
  • Of what use is money in the hands of fools
when they have no heart to acquire wisdom?
  • As dogs return to their vomit,
so fools repeat their folly.

See also

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Wikipedia
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Wiktionary
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