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Muslims pray during the annual Haj pilgrimage in Mecca, in Saudi Arabia.
Muslims pray during the annual Haj pilgrimage in Mecca, in Saudi Arabia. Photograph: Suhaib Salem/Reuters
Muslims pray during the annual Haj pilgrimage in Mecca, in Saudi Arabia. Photograph: Suhaib Salem/Reuters

A Sinner in Mecca review – Islam, homosexuality and the hope of tolerance

This article is more than 7 years old

In a book subtitled ‘A Gay Muslim’s Hajj of Defiance’, Parvez Sharma’s pilgrimage leads him to consider Isis, Wahabbism and the true nature of his faith

Parvez Sharma is a proud gay Muslim whose first film, A Jihad For Love, was the first ever made about Islam and homosexuality. It made him the subject of death threats throughout the Arab world.

Nevertheless, the power of his faith and his curiosity as a journalist propelled him to take the Hajj pilgrimage of to Saudi Arabia – a journey that also became a film – even though he knew if he was identified at the border his punishment would almost certainly be a beheading.

“Immense faith had brought me here,” he writes. “I was obeying my highest calling as a Muslim.”

Somehow, the name on his Indian passport did not set off any alarm bells. The result is the first book about the Hajj from a gay perspective, written by a man with a deep knowledge of Islamic history. This pilgrimage is the centerpiece of his book, and he recounts it with courage and fierce emotion.

Part of Sharma’s compulsion to find his spiritual salvation at Mecca was a need to prove to himself that despite his sexual orientation, he was still holy enough to be worthy of this journey. It was far from a casual decision. As a child, a medical issue prevented him from having the required circumcision. To reduce one major risk during his pilgrimage, when he would be forced to wear an ihram, two seamless pieces of white cloth with no underwear, he had to have the operation as an adult.

He writes: “In my nightmares, my ihram would fall off in Mecca, subjecting unsuspecting pilgrims to my un-Muslim penis.” His grandfather had told him how after the partition of India and Pakistan, his two best friends were stripped and identified as Muslim by their genitals. They were then hacked to death.

Sharma’s struggle to reconcile his faith with his sexual orientation leads him on a search for the essential humanity of the prophet Muhammad. “Scholars learn to question faith,” he writes, “while believers just accept it. My adult self seemed to possess both abilities.”

He argues convincingly that the version of Islam promoted by Isis comes directly from Saudi Arabia’s Wahhabi doctrine and that both represent a terrible corruption of the original intent of his religion. He also believes that without Wahhabi indoctrination, there could not have been a 9/11 – because it had been taught to 15 of the hijackers.

The black flag used by Isis (which Sharma calls Daesh) “is dangerously painting all of Islam with the color black, and saying the faith is monolithic, intolerant and violent”. Centuries of Islamic thought has actually “appealed to mortal rationality. But there is no rationality for the Al Saud or Daesh”.

Sharma believes Muhammad “was a man of skill, wisdom and moderation … He did not believe in harm. His lifetime was a time of respect for the other monotheisms … Jews and Christians were not hated – they were to be respected as ‘people of the book’.”

The author says that America’s “unquenchable” thirst for oil had made it ignore the fact that the Saudis have spent at least $10bn promoting the warped Wahhabi ideology. A report from the European Union said Wahhabi groups in the Middle East were closely involved in the “support and supply of arms to rebel groups around the world”. Sharma says it’s like “a PayPal for … jihad”.

“What did [the Saudis] do? They took Muslims of diverse traditions within Islam that are exceptionally moderate, like South Asian Sufi-enriched Islam, and flew in Wahhabi imams to preach intolerance.”

Sharma’s pilgrimage to Mecca included a hallucinatory reunion with his dead mother, whose shame over his homosexuality was something he was trying to exorcise. In the end he was successful, writing: “It was a life-transforming journey because in Mecca I killed the part of me that questioned whether Islam would accept me. In its place was the certainty that it was up to me to accept Islam.”

He believes Europe “really needs to win the ideological battle with Wahhabi Islam” and if it can, he has this dream for posterity: “Will Muhammad still be a force to reckon with 14 centuries from now? Probably.

“Will Daesh and their Wahhabi masters be mere footnotes? Hopefully.”

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