Here’s How to Shop for the Right Strap-On

Pros

• Budget- and beginner-friendly
• Adjustable
• Multiple O-rings
• Machine-washable

Cons

• Excess straps hang loose and can be distracting, according to reviewers

Comfy and compatible with a range of dildo sizes, Lovehoney’s Universal Harness checks our most essential boxes—and at $25, it costs a bit less than some other models. This jock-style pick has adjustable straps and comes with three O-rings you can swap in and out, depending on the width of your toy. The harness also has a pocket for a bullet vibe (toy not included), which can turn a regular silicone dildo into a vibrator and amp up the pleasure for all parties involved.

Product specs

Available sizes: One size | Adjustment range: 28 to 65 inches | Items included: Adjustable jock-style harness, three O-rings

Pros

• Includes a beginner-friendly dildo
• Compatible with most bullet vibes
• Safe for anal or vaginal play

Cons

• Straps may dig or pinch, according to reviewers

This Lovehoney strap-on kit is our favorite for beginners because it includes the essentials: a machine-washable harness, multiple O-rings, and a 5-inch dildo that’s also anal-safe. Plus, the harness has a pocket that can hold a bullet vibrator (not included), and the whole set costs less than $50.

Product specs

Available sizes: One size | Adjustment range: 18 to 68 inches | Items included: Adjustable jockstrap harness, dildo (5-inch), three O-rings

Pros

• Padded back band
• Relatively affordable

Cons

• Excess straps hang loose (some reviewers recommend trimming them once you find your fit)

“Being comfortable when you’re having strap-on sex is extremely important,” certified sex educator Javay Frye-Nekrasova, MEd, tells SELF. After all, it’s difficult to feel tempting or find the right tempo when things are unpleasantly digging or pinching into your hips, bum, or thighs, she says.

Compared to most jock-style harnesses that only adjust up to around 60 inches, this Sportsheets strap-on extends to 82 inches (the largest on our list) for a better fit. Another perk: The padded back support, which should prevent chafing or discomfort in the middle of a session.

Product specs

Available sizes: One size | Adjustment range: 28 to 82 inches | Items included: Adjustable jockstrap harness, three O-rings

Pros

• Waterproof rabbit vibe
• 15 intensity settings
• Adjustable harness
• Good value for a set

Cons

• Rabbit ears may feel too stiff for some

The rabbit vibrator is a popular style of sex toy with a long body and smaller “ears” that can stimulate the vagina and the clit at the same time. This versatile strap-on set comes with a rabbit vibe that has a flared base (unlike most classic rabbits), so you can fit it inside the included harness’s O-ring and feel confident it won’t slip out. You also have the option to switch in a regular dildo or use the vibrator on its own.

Product specs

Available sizes: One size | Adjustment range: Up to 67 inches | Items included: Adjustable jockstrap harness, vibrating rabbit dildo (5-inch), three O-rings, USB power cord

Pros

• Waterproof
• App-compatible
• Three separate motors
• Battery life exceeds two hours
• Flexible neck

Cons

• Pricey
• Not as beginner-friendly

Quick primer: Strapless strap-ons are double-ended dildos that can penetrate you and a partner at the same time without anything (like a fiddly harness) getting in the way, says Frye-Nekrasova. She adds that they’re a great way to feel closer to your partner, thanks to all that skin-to-skin connection. Lovense, a top-rated brand we’ve recommended previously, makes our favorite—a strapless strap-on that vibrates.

When you connect it to the Lovense app, you can control the speed and pattern of its three motors (one in the bulb, one in the base, and one in the tip) remotely. The app even lets you synchronize the Lapis with music on your phone. So, if you don’t already have a groovy sex playlist ready to go, this is your sign to make one.

Product specs

Available sizes: N/A | Adjustment range: N/A | Items included: Vibrator, USB power cord

Pros

• Affordable
• Comfortable
• Stretchy
• Compatible with dildo or packer

Cons

• Only outfitted with one O-ring

These boxers can function as your everyday undies, and none would be the wiser. But when the mood strikes, they have a sewn-in O-ring that’s strong enough to support a dildo (or double dildo).

As a bonus: The harness is also thoughtfully designed with an internal strap that snugly secures packers, an aid designed to create the appearance of a bulge, in place. “As someone who struggles with my body image being trans, these are perfect for me,” one Lovehoney shopper writes. “They’re super comfy on my body, great for holding my packer, and help me feel less conscious of how I look so I can just enjoy time with my partner.”

Product specs

• Available sizes: XS/S, M/L, L/XL, XXL/3XL | Adjustment range: N/A | Items included: Underwear harness, one built-in O-ring

Pros

• Cute design
• Sits seamlessly under clothing
• Versatile
• Machine-mashable

Cons

• Very pricey
• Not adjustable
• Dildo sold separately

If you’re looking for a strap-on with more embellishments, Dr. Queen suggests this option from Sasha Couture. An underwear-style harness with ribbons, lace, and detachable garters, these panties may look and feel as sleek as lingerie. But the fabric has subtle, sewn-in panels that help the harness keep its shape, ensuring that the base of the dildo stays pressed to you or your partner’s body for easy control.

Also worth noting: The back panels can shift to accommodate double-ended dildos. Plus, there are two pouches that can fit bullet vibes—and they’re machine-washable.

Product specs

Available sizes: XS to 3XL | Adjustment range: N/A | Items included: Underwear harness

Pros

• Waterproof and vibrates
• Curve is designed with prostate stimulation in mind
• Harness features a holster for remote control

Cons

• Battery fades without regular charging
• Dildo length may not be accessible to all anal beginners

This set is a favorite of Heather Shannon, LCPC, a certified sex therapist and host of the podcast Ask a Sex Therapist. The harness offers basic features like an adjustable waist, but the vibrating dildo is the star of the show. The Pegasus has a curved shaft that can reach the G-spot or P-spot, has a suction cup base, and is completely remote-controllable from up to 30 feet away. You or your partner can choose from 15 vibrations and six speeds.

Product specs

Available sizes: One size | Adjustment range: up to 67 inches | Items included: Adjustable jockstrap harness, vibrating dildo (6-inch), three O-rings, remote control, USB power cord

Pros

• Ergonomically designed to fit both partners
• Anal-safe
• Waterproof
• Both ends can be controlled separately

Cons

• Easier to use with a harness (not included)

Here’s another pick for the people who love dual stimulation: “Both ends of this rechargeable rabbit dildo can vibrate with varying strengths and patterns,” says Dr. Queen. Each end is controlled separately and offers rumbly (not buzzy) vibrations for a more intense experience.

The shorter end is shaped to “hook” into the wearer's pelvis so it stays in place, while “the long arm is styled with a bit of a curve for G-spot or prostate stimulation,” Dr. Queen says. It’s also anal-safe—just be sure to lather up with lots of lube before you get going.

Product specs

Available sizes: N/A | Adjustment range: N/A | Items included: Dildo

Pros

• Suction cup base fits into most harnesses
• Can be used alone or with a partner
• Doesn’t vibrate

Cons

• Has a learning curve

“The Ryde is a great choice if you are looking for a versatile toy,” says Frye-Nekrasova. Its suction cup base can securely attach to any strap-on harness and two posable dildos that you and a partner can ride at the same time. Unlike some of our other picks, you can also use the Ryde by yourself: Stick the base on any flat, smooth surface, and enjoy double penetration all on your own. While finding the right angle can take some trial and error, it might be worth it if you haven’t found a strap-on you like yet.

Product specs

Available sizes: One size | Adjustment range: N/A) | Items included: Dildo, suction cup

Pros

• Works for penis-owners
• Can be used for double penetration
• Highly adjustable
• Two built-in bullet vibrator pockets
• Machine-washable

Cons

• Pricey

Here to prove that two is better than one is the SpareParts Deuce harness, which is also built for dual penetration, according to Frye-Nekrasova. It’s designed with two O-ring openings, she explains—one that a penis can go through and one that a dildo can go through. “There are also two separate pockets for bullets. You can turn both or just one of the insertable toys into a vibrator with ease,” she says. Dr. Queen also notes that this strap-on has a built-in pouch that’s useful for anyone who wants to tuck their penis away without it getting squished by the dildo’s base.

Product specs

Available sizes: One size | Adjustment range: 20 to 50 inches | Items included: Adjustable jockstrap harness, storage bag

Pros

• Accessible for those with mobility limitations
• Machine-washable

Cons

• Only fits legs up to 22 inches around

While most strap-on harnesses sit around your pelvis, this one Velcros around your thigh. “It’s a great alternative for those who can't comfortably thrust,” says Dr. Queen, or “for those who like to cuddle up and rub, as it offers a penetrative upgrade to frottage.”

Product specs

Available sizes: One size | Adjustment range: Up to 22 inches | Items included: Thigh harness

Pros

• Textured to provide vulva stimulation
• Fits over most dildos
• Doubles as a buffer

Cons

• Can be a bit bulky for some
• Creates more space between wearer and receiver

Much like pepperoni on pizza, the Bumpher isn’t essential to strap-on sex—but it can be a welcome extra. “One side fits onto the bottom of your strap-on dildo, while the other is contoured for vulva stimulation,” explains Dr. Queen. “The wearer just has to adjust their harness so that their vulva and the Bumpher line-up.” Made from squishy silicone, the Bumpher works overtime padding the base of the dildo, which can pound against the pubic bone of the harness-wearer during play.

Product specs

Available sizes: N/A | Adjustment range: N/A | Items included: Base