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    Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear
    Unavailable
    Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear
    Unavailable
    Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear
    Ebook41 pages10 minutes

    Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear

    By Carl Hiaasen and Roz Chast

    3.5/5

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this ebook

    This is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go--the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it.

    "This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning."
         So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to warn them about their precarious paths forward than Carl Hiaasen? The answer, after reading Assume the Worst, is: Nobody.
         And who better to illustrate--and with those illustrations, expand upon and cement Hiaasen's cynical point of view--than Roz Chast, best-selling author/illustrator and National Book Award winner? The answer again is easy: Nobody.
         Following the format of Anna Quindlen's commencement address (Being Perfect) and George Saunders's commencement address (Congratulations, by the way), the collaboration of Hiaasen and Chast might look typical from the outside, but inside it is anything but.
         This book is bound to be a classic, sold year after year come graduation time. Although it's also a good gift for anyone starting a job, getting married, or recently released from prison. Because it is not just funny. It is, in its own Hiaasen way, extremely wise and even hopeful. Well, it might not be full of hope, but there are certainly enough slivers of the stuff in there to more than keep us all going.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherKnopf Doubleday Publishing Group
    Release dateApr 10, 2018
    ISBN9780525655022
    Unavailable
    Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear
    Author

    Carl Hiaasen

    Carl Hiaasen (b. 1953) is the New York Times bestselling and award-winning author of more than twenty adult and young adult novels and nonfiction titles, including the novels Strip Tease (1993) and Skinny Dip (2004), as well as the mystery-thrillers Powder Burn (1981), Trap Line (1982), and A Death in China (1984), which were cowritten with fellow Miami Herald journalist Bill Montalbano (1941–1998). Hiaasen is best known for his satirical writing and dark humor, much of which is directed at various social and political issues in his home state of Florida. He is an award-winning columnist for the Miami Herald, and lives in Vero Beach.

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    Reviews for Assume the Worst

    3.5/5

    64 ratings9 reviews

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    • 5/5
      Download Full Ebook Very Detail Here :
      https://amzn.to/3XOf46C
      - You Can See Full Book/ebook Offline Any Time
      - You Can Read All Important Knowledge Here
      - You Can Become A Master In Your Business
    • 2/5
      I didn’t really care for this. The book claims to be honest and realistic—and it’s true that the book isn’t exactly bursting with optimism—but the negativity is so overblown that it’s just as unhelpful and distorted as the sincere speeches it parodies. The humor didn’t appeal to me, but I can certainly see how others might enjoy it. It has the tone of a seasoned veteran giving some unpleasant advice to new recruits, but the book’s sole gimmick is how unexpected it is to hear pessimism out loud; it’s sort of a one-trick pony, but it just goes on too long and falls flat. Some of the advice seems unwise, too. Not my cup of tea.
    • 3/5
      This very short book is written with tongue in cheek, as a college commencement speech might sound if it were realistic, rather than idealistic. I picked this up for a reading challenge book because I needed a book under 100 pages long, and those are hard to find. This one is only 64 pages long...with pictures! The illustrations are by the hilarious New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast were actually the best part of the book for me, which was a tad too cynical for my taste. To be fair, it was written in 2018 when Donald Trump was in office, so liberals were all feeling pretty cynical, then.
    • 1/5
      Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear by Carl Hiaasen
      I understand this is a book written under the satire genre but I really don't get why it'd even be written at all, there's nothing good about the future the way the speech is written.
      Glad it's never been given to a graduating class. they need all the encouragement they can get, in my opinion.
      This is another book by this author I just couldn't get into. I like to read a book that I can learn something new.
      Read for OK book club for june 2022.
    • 3/5
      It's a rather cynical little offering but there are parts of it that are oh so very true. Some of it will bring a chuckle or so and you'll think..."Yeah, I know someone just like that". As the author points out..."assuming the worst is the best and most promising course. it will keep the despair and disillusionment at bay. When faced with a steaming pile of manure, the optimist will say, there has to be a pony in there somewhere."
    • 4/5
      Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You’ll Never Hear
      Author: Carl Hiaasen, Illustrations: Roz Chast
      Publisher: Alfred A Knopf
      Date: 2018
      Pgs: 43
      Dewey: 818.54 H623a
      Disposition: Irving Public Library - South Campus - Irving, TX
      _________________________________________________

      REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS

      Summary:
      This is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go--the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it.

      "This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning."
      _________________________________________________
      Genre:
      90 minutes (44-64 pages)
      Humor
      Entertainment
      Literature
      Fiction
      Literary Criticism
      Parodies

      Why this book:
      The title sucked me in. Appeals to the worrying pessimist who lives inside me.
      _________________________________________________

      Character I Most Identified With:
      A curmudgeon and a pessimist get together and write a grad speech about the future and hope. Lovely.

      Favorite Scene / Quote:
      The optimist staring at a steaming pile of crap with a shovel in hand thinking there is a pony in there.

      The whole graduation speech you’ll never hear with comic strip illustrations is pure awesome.

      “Spending all your waking hours doing what feels good is a viable life plan, if you’re a Labrador Retriever, but for humans it’s a blueprint for unemployment, divorce, and irrelevance.” AKA Why not live every day like it’s your last.

      The pessimist slept close to the fire. The optimist pitched a hammock between two trees under the stars. One of them got eaten by a lion, a tiger, or a bear.

      Wisdom:
      The okay it’s got to get better assumption. It doesn’t have to do anything.

      Self delusion is not a virtue.

      Life is a shit blizzard. (But) No, we’re not all doomed.

      ...spiritual pathway to happiness...visit a yogi, or go buy a puppy.

      _________________________________________________

      Last Page Sound:
      This tickled the cynical, pessimistic curmudgeon who lives in my soul.

      Author Assessment:
      Well done.

      Knee Jerk Reaction:
      instant classic
      _________________________________________________
    • 3/5
      You might want to take this book with the proverbial grain of salt. There are a nuggets of good advice, interspersed with satirical humor, but other admonitions should probably be ignored. Contrary to the author’s advice, I think you should look for the good in people you meet, especially if you meet them on a daily basis. And if you are quick to judge people, you likely will be judging before all the evidence is provided. Still, it’s an entertaining book, and the illustrations make it worth the read.
    • 4/5
      ASSUME THE WORST: THE GRADUATION SPEECH YOU’LL NEVER HEAR by Carl Hiaasen, with illustrations by Roz Chast, is a hilarious and very touching essay.
      I could copy the entire essay with my underlinings and notes. Some of my favorite notes are:
      “Force yourself to experiment with kindness, even when the impulse eludes you.”
      “Corruption is another dreary fact of life, and the worst scoundrels are often likable and smooth. Try not to fall for their act. From the local zoning board to the halls of Congress, your mistrust will seldom be misplaced.” (Cynic that I am, this is my favorite quote.)

      A wonderful graduation ‘speech’ - one everyone should hear and adhere to, no matter one’s age.
    • 1/5
      I like Carl Hiaasen's fiction, but this is complete crap. Total money-grubbing and not even remotely humorous.