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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second hand clothing amongst the younger generation.1. Why is this happening? 2. Do you think its a positive or negative development?

#years #rise #popularity #second #hand #generation #development
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Much ink has been spilt analysing, assessing and identifying the underlying worth and imperativeness of using pre-owned stuff.Given what has been said,a social segment of society contends that the trend of utilizing handed-down clothes is enlarging day by day,does it has practical or impractical impacts.In accordance with my point of view ,the state suggestion lacks the elements of practicality and objectivity,and
therefore
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,it seems pragmatic to refute it.The upcoming paragraphs will provide insight views and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will describe some fringe benefits. To commence with,the utilization of pre-owned garments
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
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 to controlling air pollution ,as we know the significant problems today's generation is facing are the threats of global warming, the greenhouse effect and soil erosion .
For instance
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,
According to
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 the University of London,the burning of carbon causes ozone depletion,
as a result
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,the exposure to sunlight waves is becoming directly to human skin,which causes numerous diseases.
Additionally
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,it
also
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 saves water consumption,because for preparing a single T-shirt, approximately 50 litres of water is usually consumed.
On the other hand
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,another worth-considering element associated with
this
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 mechanism,is the idea of affordability,as we all know,after the development of various mechanoids, unemployment spreads gradually,
consequently
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, folks are facing a financial crisis.
According to
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 BBC News,in poor countries like India,Pakistan and Afghanistan,folks prefer to buy second-hand clothes,
instead
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 of buying new ones.
Additionally
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,It is an assumption among people,
they
Correct word choice
that they
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 think mostly pre-owned things have long-lasting quality,as compared to brand new.
Lastly
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,the idea of making use of nearly new garments provides humans
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
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 to manage their
overall
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 budget,i have witnessed many people, who can't afford highly priced dresses,
in contrast
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,they prefer to purchase handed-down dresses from markets. To put it briefly,the idea of declining the use of second-hand clothes seems impractical.The above-mentioned views
such
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 as affordability,decreasing pollution and long-lasting quality have proved the fringe benefits of pre-owned stuff in the long run.
Submitted by notkhan01 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction is clear and directly addresses the task, particularly focusing on whether the rise in second-hand clothing is a positive or negative development.
logical structure
When transitioning between ideas, use linking words or phrases more consistently to improve the flow of the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some of your sentences are quite long and complex, which can make them hard to follow. Consider breaking them into shorter sentences for clarity.
complete response
The essay effectively answers the first and second parts of the question with relevant examples and arguments.
relevant specific examples
You provided a specific example from the University of London concerning air pollution and water consumption, which bolsters your argument.
logical structure
There is a logical progression of ideas, from discussing environmental benefits to affordability and economic considerations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Second-hand clothing
  • Fast fashion
  • Carbon footprint
  • Waste reduction
  • Sustainable fashion
  • Unique/vintage items
  • Individuality
  • Social media influence
  • Affordable options
  • Charitable organizations
  • Thrift shopping
  • Responsible consumer behavior
  • Democratizes fashion
  • Economic implications
  • Turnover of new clothing
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