SandboxEscaper

People know I'm harmless, only capable of finding these retarded bugs. I wonder how my life would have been had I been able to find browser or kernel bugs.

I guess it's easy for leet people that had access to higher education or had mentors to look down on my work. Try starting from zero and only having youtube vids to learn from. Stupid elitist people.

I need to make some money quickly. It's kind of stressful. Hope I find something good for my Russian friends soon.

Oh and I also want to sell 0days to the Russians and hack the FBI. Good night.

My life is not going anywhere. I guess that's fine. I'll just keep finding bad bugs and sharing badly written PoCs. Better then becoming some elitist jerk like others in this industry. I just want to annoy people, annoying people is fun.

Celebrating holidays is dumb. Real hackers sit alone behind their computer and find dumb bugs to drop. Because there is nothing more satisfying then making everyone as miserable as yourself by responsibly disclosing bugs on twitter. Good night.

Working on a PoC for a new bug. Low quality bug, so I'll drop it. Give me 1 or 2 days, thanks.

I guess the worst thing, aside from seriously contemplating suicide every other day and not being able to keep meaningful connections with people.. it's the fact that I ruin everything. I'm not broke because of this industry. I'm broke because I get these really destructive moods

And it hurts, because it's very difficult for me to make new connections and friends when depressed like this, and everytime I have one of those insane breakdowns, everyone just backs off and avoids me. It makes me feel like a monster. Maybe I am a monster.. I don't know.

Sometimes I say a lot of angry things. Maybe it's because I have a lot of anxiety issues, or maybe I'm bipolar and get these angry manic moods. I'm not some crazy soon-to-be mass murderer or something.. because that's what people seem to think sometimes.

Things are not going to change. I wish I would knew for sure that people wouldn't get affected in a really bad way if I was gone. Because that is really the only thing stopping me right now. It's just a fucking nightmare. Being alive hurts every day.

These last few years.. I havn't even watched a conference recording anymore.. or read someone's blog.. or been able to focus on a book.. the few times a year I had the energy to do something.. I just went bughunting after the same boring bugs I've always done.

You know, I'm really just a joke. All I know is my fucking dumb junction abuse. There used to be a time, years ago, when I was trying new things, looking for the next challenge.. learning new things.. I had big ambitions. Lol.. I wanted to go after mitigations and shit.

The thought of not being here felt like a relief. But in the end, I was just so fucking tired and ended up sleeping instead of hanging myself. It's been so many years now.. years of being alone, being broke, not moving forward in life, not living..

I don't know what to do anymore. It's funny.. exactly a year ago I was exactly in the same situation. People told me 2018 would be better... it only got worse. I wish I had the guts to just get it over with. I really wanted to do it this morning.

Happy holidays... bye...

The only thing stopping me from hanging myself right now is the fact that I'm way to tired to head out to some place where people wouldn't find me in time. Because I don't want to risk failing and ending up braindamaged or something. I can't do this shit anymore.