Gloria!(profile of Canadian-born actress Gloria Reuben)(Cover Story)

Hollywood loves Gloria Reuben, whose star turn as an HIV-positive medic has made her the quiet heart of TV's hottest drama, ER. But the Canadian-born former waitress isn't about to let down her guard. Steeled by a youth fraught with loss, she's bent on running her life her way.

Wow, only in L.A.," mutters Gloria Reuben, as she ponders a Civil War-era Pennsylvania schoolhouse artlessly plunked down on an adobe-style ranch in the Santa Monica Mountains. The owner of the property - the photographer who is taking Reuben's picture today - had taken a fancy to the quaint structure on a trip back East: "We simply had to have it," she gushes. Reuben rolls her piercing almond eyes ever so slightly, but manages a congratulatory pleasantry. Funny thing is, in this setting, Reuben herself presents as camp a contrast as the indecorous schoolhouse: dressed and dolled to the nines, mincing about the rugged hills, mugging for the camera. Turning away, she can no longer contain her amusement at the absurdity: a deep belly laugh erupts, sending her carefully coifed curls into wild confusion.

Despite her 10 years in Los Angeles, Reuben has not lost her sense of wonder at capricious excess, "the crazed pursuit of fame and celebrity," she puts it, and the obsession with image. (During her first days in Hollywood, she was often advised to have her hair straightened if she wanted to make it - "I mean, it's that ridiculous here sometimes," she roars.) She seems to covet her amazement, as if it helps her stay on guard, ever vigilant, suspicious about others' intentions. The photo shoot's designer clothes (she wears them very well but picks at them uncomfortably) and hairdo are not her; but that's OK, as long as she knows. Just don't get boxed in by the seduction, make it on your own terms as best you can. "The Hollywood thing can so easily trap you," she explains. "In my case, this is a place where expectations and perceptions of you are tightly confined within that TV box. You're a piece that fits a mold, their mold. Ugh," she shudders. "That's when I start to buck. Still, let's keep my worries in perspective."

And indeed, a minute later she is chuckling at her own griping. After all, there's her role on ER, North American's top-rated drama. Thirty million people dutifully tune in every Thursday evening …