Therapy can help some trans folks, but what they really need is a community that supports them regardless of how well they pass.
Trans passing messageboards are absolutely brutal. Brutal honesty is necessary for some, for whom passing is a matter of physical safety. But for a lot more, it can amount to self-harming. Any deviation from sometimes pseudoscientific models of "man" and "woman" is seen as a tell, an imperfection. This is made worse by the fact that gender-affirming surgery is utterly unaffordable for most people, let alone most people struggling with dysphoria and depression.
In addition, passing politics by nature excludes many nonbinary people, for whom it is by definition impossible to pass. Not long after I came out I kept trying to find references for how to be myself. It shouldn't be that way.
Where might we be if trans bodies were seen as natural variation instead of deviance?
> Therapy can help some trans folks, but what they really need is a community that supports them regardless of how well they pass.
I don't know if I necessarily agree with that part.
Therapy can help people starting out with blockers. Basically, young trans people that will pass but going through the social process is still difficult. Therapy isn't a universal solution and there is no proof that it works for everyone. The older population of trans people won't find therapy helpful depending on the following factors of did they get on on blockers at all, was HRT & good genetics in early 20s an option, and is it possible for them to pay for surgeries needing to eventually pass. Finding the "perfect community" for trans people is a flattering way of expressing segregation. They should be able to feel safe anywhere is what the solution should be. Otherwise they won't ever feel normal and possibly be assaulted or killed in society.
I'm unsure why nonbinary people are relevant in a discussion about trans people and since they don't have a concept of passing to other people as a certain sex. Sure, they prefer to be nonbinary in regard to how they look or be received.
Trans bodies aren't natural. Every trans person will express how they wish they could have started before puberty in an ideal life. The perfect life would have been just born cis as the sex they identify as or not have gender dysphoria.
It's better to be honest than to hugbox someone into a dangerous situation. I've seen some trans people just want assistance in dying because passing is everything for quality of life to not be poor for them. I think they should be able to get it but only if passing is not going to be an option with HRT and surgeries are not going to fix anything. I remember reading a trans person has received assistance in dying somewhere in Europe for Gender Dysphoria. It's sad but that's how it is for some people in life.
Nonbinary people are trans. Failure to assimilate != segregation.
I get the sense that you're a generation or so older than me and have consequently had to put up with a lot more medical gatekeeping than I did. If I'm right, I salute you. But I see nothing good in letting myself being defined by my dysphoria or in turning myself into what feels to me like a cardboard cutout of a woman just so I can feel like not a guy. Down that way all I see is more of what I had before I realized I was trans. No thank you.
What you were writing in your previous post is segregation.
How old are you when you were able to start HRT and did you get to go on blockers?
Your viewpoint of not letting yourself be defined by dysphoria is typically expressed by anyone able to start in early 20s or younger. I find your opinion perfectly fine for people in that foregoing situation. Starting that young has little in comparison with the previous generations' experiences and realities.
It shouldn't be a situation of forcing a universal ideology upon everyone. People gravitate to whatever solution works for them and it can be pleasant or unpleasant for others.
What I consider a cardboard cutout of a woman might just be a woman to you. In any case it doesn't matter because neither of us own anything that's just non-physical/judgement(s)/opinion(s).
People just get assigned a life and observe whatever story they get. No free will exists and obviously some people are in Heaven while others are in Hell. Life is predestined for whatever outcome. I think majority of trans people will have better outcomes after our generations die out.
edit: if you want to chat on discord whenever. I always enjoy chatting with trans people I meet online and learning their views compared to redefining my own. Alizée#4723
Trans passing messageboards are absolutely brutal. Brutal honesty is necessary for some, for whom passing is a matter of physical safety. But for a lot more, it can amount to self-harming. Any deviation from sometimes pseudoscientific models of "man" and "woman" is seen as a tell, an imperfection. This is made worse by the fact that gender-affirming surgery is utterly unaffordable for most people, let alone most people struggling with dysphoria and depression.
In addition, passing politics by nature excludes many nonbinary people, for whom it is by definition impossible to pass. Not long after I came out I kept trying to find references for how to be myself. It shouldn't be that way.
Where might we be if trans bodies were seen as natural variation instead of deviance?