Why You Need a Designated (Wedding) Driver
Getting a wedding coordinator to handle your party is much like assigning a designated driver on a party night. You get to have as much fun as you want and not have to worry about how the night will end up. If you don’t have a designated driver, that doesn’t mean you won’t get home, but how you get home (and how you feel when you do) might be a much different experience.
I won’t get into the smaller details of the differences between a “planner” and “coordinator” in this post, but you may have told yourself (or heard from others or read on the internet): “I don’t need a planner because I can plan everything on my own.” Another common thought is: “I don’t need a coordinator because my venue has one.” An event planner is different from an event coordinator (often also called: day-of coordinator or month-of planner. We prefer “wedding-day manager”). A venue coordinator is also different from the overall event coordinator. You may have planned the date, time, details, where, and who of the party, but unless you also plan to be the entire event’s designated driver, here is why having an event coordinator is beneficial:
- An event coordinator is the driver of the entire event from start to finish.
This includes but is not limited to set up of your items, as well as directing all of your vendors’ setup, making sure this is all completed before the ceremony begins, that all of your different vendors from different companies (average combined teams of 15–30 people is common. In many cases these are combinations of people who have never worked together before or don’t work together on a regular basis) are on the same page and up-to-date on any timeline changes, making sure you and your wedding party is sent down the aisle at the same time as the music (repeat timing and vendor sync coordination for all events scheduled for the entire reception), problem solving the multitude of accidents, mistakes, and handling the unavoidable that happens in any event with this many different moving parts, and managing cleanup so you and your guests don’t have to after a long and fun day.
If your caterers arrived late, who is going to support them to make up time so that they are set up on time for cocktail hour (hint: 🙋🏻)? If there is a table missing from your rental order, who is going to catch the missing table and come up with a solution (also 🙋🏻)? These are hypothetical (but real things that have happened at real weddings we have worked at) questions you have to be willing to accept as problems that will be fixed somehow as “the show must go on” without an event coordinator. Someone will need to absorb these responsibilities with a lack of a main point-person and that someone is likely to be you. If that seems like a lot, I hope you’ve already made up your mind because that’s the short list of what we handle.
2. Our job function is not the same as a venue coordinator’s.
To suggest that our entire careers are superfluous to that of a venue’s coordinator is a huge misconception in the industry. To be fair, there are a lot of venues, caterers, and other vendors that offer event coordination services that seem like they cover all of the bases. The toughest part of figuring out whether they do or not is tough because it is never an apples-to-apples comparison. We have worked at a ton of venues and so far, we haven’t met a venue coordinator that dwarfs our entire line of work.
Here’s why: while a venue coordinator promises that he/she will set up your guestbook, gifts table, escort cards, favors, candles, sweetheart table, decor, ask for a timeline, and send you down the aisle, that’s literally all your venue coordinator will do. A venue coordinator is not working for you, he/she is working for the venue and the venue is always the primary priority. Not you. Not your vendors. And while most venue coordinators will take note of when your vendors are supposed to arrive and how they should be reached, when your ceremony is supposed to start and what time all reception events are supposed to happen, they will not know the nuances of what your vendors are responsible for because they will not have read every single word of what you’ve contracted with your vendors. In all cases we have worked on, they will not have read a single word of what you’ve contracted with your vendors because that’s not part of their job. Even if you send a timeline that includes what your vendors are supposed to do, it’s still not part of their job to manage your vendors and their responsibilities. If your DJ forgets to set up an extra wireless mic for the ceremony, the venue coordinator is not going to catch that, and nobody is going to find out until it matters when it’s too late to do anything about it. If your photographer is using the restroom when cake cutting is supposed to happen (and you won’t know your photographer is in the bathroom, you’d have to figure that out first), who is going to look for him/her? You are, because your venue coordinator won’t. He or she might not even be working anymore as oftentimes the catering floor manager takes over later in the night.
The point is not to bash on venue coordinators. We love venue coordinators and are super appreciative of all of their support on event days. They are an integral part of a successful event because they are experts on their respective venues and we need their guidance in making sure we are meeting all the rules and regulations and that we are taking advantage of all the resources each venue has to offer. We also agree that having a venue coordinator that can help with some of the responsibilities is better than not having a central point-person at all. What we don’t agree with is a venue coordinator being the same as an event coordinator. A venue coordinator spends most of his/her time giving site walks to prospective clients, preparing and writing communication and marketing materials to secure more clients, working with all of their clients on finalizing venue details, coordinating with venue staff, and facilitating the many other events and business ongoings that go on the other 364 days of the year. Event planners and coordinators have dedicated their entire careers to figuring out how to make your wedding day run as smoothly as possible for you and your guests.
We spend at least 50 hours in total working on weddings we are only “day-of coordinating”. The name is deceptive in leading people to believe that we can show up for 8 hours on your wedding day and just run the show with no prep work. Part of the hour count includes preparation, event-day hours, and post-event matters on every wedding. This includes reading every single word of all of your vendors’ contracts, working with you on your timeline, site layouts, and other event documents to make sure we have all of the information we need to safeguard against any problem that could arise on your wedding day and fixing those problems that come up anyway and doing so without causing a delay in the timeline, introducing ourselves and doing final confirmations with all of your vendors before the wedding, and working with you and your vendors on loose ends that need to be taken care of after the wedding is over. Not to mention we also bring an emergency kit full of items that we’ve spent hours collecting for almost anything you can think of— white and clear nail polish in case your polish chips, extra floral pins if a boutonniere is falling down, toys if your ring bearer is throwing a tantrum because he doesn’t want to walk down the aisle, extra rings and printout of your vows (yes, rings for the big “oops” scatterbrains moment caused by wedding jitters), and much more!
This is also why we can’t charge $500 for our services. At least not on a standard Bay-Area-wedding with around 100 guests. Weddings with a smaller guest count and less complexity would be less coordination and should cost less than a larger, more complex wedding. Based on a standard Bay-Area-wedding with around 100 guests, we would make less than minimum wage charging $500 before considering taxes, paying of assistants, and overhead costs. Anyone you speak to who provides similar services to what I’ve described and charges under $1000 in the Bay Area speaks to their level of experience and/or professionalism. I know because I have been in this boat before.
This is not to say that new planners can’t do a good job — everyone needs to start somewhere — but a newer planner can’t prevent as many fires or curate the event experience as an experienced planner can because a newer planner doesn’t know what he/she needs to look out for. You don’t have to take me just on my word. Just do the math. Even if we were to err on the higher side, $800 per wedding, if a planner were to do a wedding every weekend of a year (which is impossible unless that planner is not doing any preparation work or business development and just shows up to each wedding without handling much— in this case that planner would not stay in business for very long), he/she would be making $41,600 before taxes and overhead costs. Due to life limitations, it’s not physically possible to work anywhere close to a wedding every weekend of every year and still provide quality results so the salary would be significantly lower than $41k which would make it hard to make a living in the Bay Area on this income alone. Anyone who chooses to make less than minimum wage working on the most important day of your life is either just starting out or is coordinating as a hobby and not as a professional career. As long as you are considering the potential consequences as you are making your decision and not just writing them off and hoping for the best then you will already be better equipped to handle things if things go awry.
Despite all of this, we do want to address that while there are many benefits to having a coordinator, your wedding will happen whether you have a coordinator or not. How it happens (or how it might happen) is the important takeaway to consider. We understand that couples have budgets they need to stick to and we respect that. Someone or several people will have to try to take over some of the responsibilities but it will not be comprehensive, cohesive, perfect, or smooth.
We try our best to accommodate budgets, but if you understand the value of a coordinator but don’t have room for one in your budget, we always recommend assigning one person (or a couple people) out of your guests who can take the time to study your timeline and contracts prior to your wedding and help out throughout your wedding day so some of the load can be taken off of you. Nobody should spend $20k+ (average minimum in our experience spent on weddings in the Bay Area) on a party that doesn’t have one main person who is responsible for managing what that $20k+ was spent on. If you think about it from a business standpoint, no company would ever not assign a leader to manage a $20k+ expense on a party. You don’t want to leave yourself as the main point-person because sometimes you won’t be available to answer questions. You might be off taking pictures or getting ready for something that’s about to happen and some issues require time-sensitive solutions. Without an event coordinator, you will essentially be hosting a party that you want to also enjoy being at and also need to worry about driving yourself home at the end of it, which means you won’t be able to fully enjoy the party and will also need to make sure everything is cleaned up before you head home.
If you do assign a friend, just remember that he/she doesn’t do this on the regular which is like asking a friend who just passed his/her driving test with no GPS to be your designated driver for the night. There’s no doubt that your friend is capable of the task, but he/she won’t be proficient at it. Don’t forget that your friend is also a guest at this party who has every right to (and should) enjoy him/herself and have a couple of drinks should he/she choose to. Your friend won’t know everything about the wedding you just spent a year planning, so you won’t be off the hook and will still need to be called upon to delegate responsibilities, answer questions, and make sure things are being taken care of. This all should be part of your considerations.
Having an event coordinator to take some stress off on your wedding day is a gift to yourself and your fiancé. We’d love to make your wedding day as relaxing and enjoyable as you deserve for it to be. After a long planning process, we have found that our couples most appreciate having the freedom to spend quality time with their family and friends on their wedding days worry-free above all else. Isn’t that a big part of how you imagine your wedding to be?
Don’t drink AND drive if you don’t have to (don’t plan your wedding and not hire a coordinator)! If you are interested in learning more about event coordination services, please check us out at www.twoperfectevents.com or contact us at [email protected] or 650–260–8788 to set up a free consultation. We would be happy to customize a package to fit to your needs and we are always open to giving our best recommendation if budget is your primary concern!
Wishing you all the best on your wedding planning journey!
