diff --git a/AK/StringImpl.cpp b/AK/StringImpl.cpp
index 396d556851552b..579ef4db90c2dd 100644
--- a/AK/StringImpl.cpp
+++ b/AK/StringImpl.cpp
@@ -21,15 +21,6 @@ namespace AK {
 
 static StringImpl* s_the_empty_stringimpl = nullptr;
 
-void StringImpl::initialize_globals()
-{
-    s_the_empty_stringimpl = nullptr;
-#ifdef DEBUG_STRINGIMPL
-    g_stringimpl_count = 0;
-    g_all_live_stringimpls = new HashTable<StringImpl*>;
-#endif
-}
-
 StringImpl& StringImpl::the_empty_stringimpl()
 {
     if (!s_the_empty_stringimpl)
diff --git a/AK/StringImpl.h b/AK/StringImpl.h
index 8b916e42a70c24..aba8ea8d4bb725 100644
--- a/AK/StringImpl.h
+++ b/AK/StringImpl.h
@@ -17,7 +17,6 @@ class StringImpl : public Retainable<StringImpl> {
     RetainPtr<StringImpl> to_uppercase() const;
 
     static StringImpl& the_empty_stringimpl();
-    static void initialize_globals();
 
     ~StringImpl();
 
diff --git a/Kernel/BochsVGADevice.cpp b/Kernel/BochsVGADevice.cpp
index 83cdad488273ac..58c94a17fcccac 100644
--- a/Kernel/BochsVGADevice.cpp
+++ b/Kernel/BochsVGADevice.cpp
@@ -24,11 +24,6 @@ BochsVGADevice& BochsVGADevice::the()
     return *s_the;
 }
 
-void BochsVGADevice::initialize_statics()
-{
-    s_the = nullptr;
-}
-
 BochsVGADevice::BochsVGADevice()
 {
     s_the = this;
diff --git a/Kernel/BochsVGADevice.h b/Kernel/BochsVGADevice.h
index eb4b9692df4f12..ab5bf503f2ab7b 100644
--- a/Kernel/BochsVGADevice.h
+++ b/Kernel/BochsVGADevice.h
@@ -10,7 +10,6 @@ class BochsVGADevice {
     AK_MAKE_ETERNAL
 public:
     static BochsVGADevice& the();
-    static void initialize_statics();
 
     BochsVGADevice();
 
diff --git a/Kernel/Boot/boot.asm b/Kernel/Boot/boot.asm
index fdd0027e94a3ac..76cc7da19a46b3 100755
--- a/Kernel/Boot/boot.asm
+++ b/Kernel/Boot/boot.asm
@@ -25,9 +25,13 @@ boot:
     mov     ax, 0x2401
     int     0x15
 
-    mov     bx, 0x1000
+    ; HACK: Load the ELF kernel at 0xf000. Assuming that the first
+    ;       LOAD header has a file offset of 0x1000, this puts _start
+    ;       at 0x10000 which we jump to later.
+    ;       This is all quite rickety.
+    mov     bx, 0xf00
     mov     es, bx
-    xor     bx, bx              ; Load kernel @ 0x10000
+    xor     bx, bx
 
     mov cx, word [cur_lba]
 .sector_loop:
@@ -65,6 +69,53 @@ boot:
     xor al, al
     out dx, al
 
+    ; Let's look at the ELF header.
+    mov bx, 0xf00
+    mov fs, bx
+    cmp [fs:0], dword 0x464c457f ; ELF magic: { 0x7f "ELF" }
+    jne fug
+
+    cmp [fs:24], dword 0x10000 ; Entry should be 0x10000
+    jne fug
+
+    mov ebx, dword [fs:28] ; EBX <- program header table
+    mov ecx, dword [fs:44] ; ECX <- program header count
+
+; Let's find the BSS and clear it.
+
+parse_program_header:
+    cmp [fs:ebx], dword 0x1 ; Is Load segment?
+    jne .next
+
+    cmp [fs:ebx+24], dword 0x6 ; Is read+write but not execute?
+    jne .next
+
+    mov edi, [fs:ebx+8] ; EDI <- p_vaddr
+    add edi, [fs:ebx+16] ; skip over 'p_filesz' bytes (leave them intact)
+
+    push ecx
+
+    sub edi, [fs:ebx+16] ; skip over 'p_filesz' bytes (see above)
+
+    ; Since we're in 16-bit real mode, create a segment address.
+    mov eax, edi
+    shr eax, 4
+    mov es, ax
+    and edi, 0xf
+
+    mov ecx, [fs:ebx+20] ; ECX <- p_memsz
+    xor al, al
+    rep stosb
+
+    pop ecx
+
+.next:
+    add ebx, 32
+    loop parse_program_header
+
+; Okay we're all set to go!
+
+lets_go:
     lgdt [cs:test_gdt_ptr]
 
     mov eax, cr0
@@ -182,7 +233,7 @@ convert_lba_to_chs:
     ret 
     
 cur_lba:
-    dw 9
+    dw 1
 sectors_per_track:
     dw 18
 heads:
diff --git a/Kernel/FileSystem.cpp b/Kernel/FileSystem.cpp
index a02828230cbe42..855ba34d9c0d42 100644
--- a/Kernel/FileSystem.cpp
+++ b/Kernel/FileSystem.cpp
@@ -23,13 +23,6 @@ HashTable<Inode*>& all_inodes()
     return *s_inode_set;
 }
 
-void FS::initialize_globals()
-{
-    s_lastFileSystemID = 0;
-    s_fs_map = nullptr;
-    s_inode_set = nullptr;
-}
-
 FS::FS()
     : m_fsid(++s_lastFileSystemID)
 {
diff --git a/Kernel/FileSystem.h b/Kernel/FileSystem.h
index 8a4f90465ed3e2..58a24d25cbf0b1 100644
--- a/Kernel/FileSystem.h
+++ b/Kernel/FileSystem.h
@@ -23,7 +23,6 @@ class VMObject;
 
 class FS : public Retainable<FS> {
 public:
-    static void initialize_globals();
     virtual ~FS();
 
     unsigned fsid() const { return m_fsid; }
diff --git a/Kernel/PTYMultiplexer.cpp b/Kernel/PTYMultiplexer.cpp
index 15959e1b3f4375..75e5a2e26e23e2 100644
--- a/Kernel/PTYMultiplexer.cpp
+++ b/Kernel/PTYMultiplexer.cpp
@@ -12,11 +12,6 @@ PTYMultiplexer& PTYMultiplexer::the()
     return *s_the;
 }
 
-void PTYMultiplexer::initialize_statics()
-{
-    s_the = nullptr;
-}
-
 PTYMultiplexer::PTYMultiplexer()
     : CharacterDevice(5, 2)
 {
diff --git a/Kernel/PTYMultiplexer.h b/Kernel/PTYMultiplexer.h
index c2062c2db74d94..064d3eb00f01de 100644
--- a/Kernel/PTYMultiplexer.h
+++ b/Kernel/PTYMultiplexer.h
@@ -13,7 +13,6 @@ class PTYMultiplexer final : public CharacterDevice {
     virtual ~PTYMultiplexer() override;
 
     static PTYMultiplexer& the();
-    static void initialize_statics();
 
     // ^CharacterDevice
     virtual RetainPtr<FileDescriptor> open(int& error, int options) override;
diff --git a/Kernel/ProcessGUI.cpp b/Kernel/ProcessGUI.cpp
index 8bdbd565d4806f..d93c7079fa4d9e 100644
--- a/Kernel/ProcessGUI.cpp
+++ b/Kernel/ProcessGUI.cpp
@@ -12,11 +12,6 @@
 
 void Process::initialize_gui_statics()
 {
-    Font::initialize();
-    WSMessageLoop::initialize();
-    WSWindowManager::initialize();
-    WSScreen::initialize();
-
     new WSMessageLoop;
 }
 
diff --git a/Kernel/VirtualFileSystem.cpp b/Kernel/VirtualFileSystem.cpp
index 15cc406394fef4..10b843be5d593f 100644
--- a/Kernel/VirtualFileSystem.cpp
+++ b/Kernel/VirtualFileSystem.cpp
@@ -19,12 +19,6 @@ VFS& VFS::the()
     return *s_the;
 }
 
-void VFS::initialize_globals()
-{
-    s_the = nullptr;
-    FS::initialize_globals();
-}
-
 VFS::VFS()
 {
 #ifdef VFS_DEBUG
diff --git a/Kernel/VirtualFileSystem.h b/Kernel/VirtualFileSystem.h
index 758ce13028b213..6c3fe71c40836a 100644
--- a/Kernel/VirtualFileSystem.h
+++ b/Kernel/VirtualFileSystem.h
@@ -39,8 +39,6 @@ class VFS;
 class VFS {
     AK_MAKE_ETERNAL
 public:
-    static void initialize_globals();
-
     class Mount {
     public:
         Mount(InodeIdentifier host, RetainPtr<FS>&&);
diff --git a/Kernel/init.cpp b/Kernel/init.cpp
index 655c1307bca024..47f001835761ec 100644
--- a/Kernel/init.cpp
+++ b/Kernel/init.cpp
@@ -151,8 +151,6 @@ void init()
     gdt_init();
     idt_init();
 
-    PTYMultiplexer::initialize_statics();
-    VFS::initialize_globals();
     vfs = new VFS;
 
     keyboard = new Keyboard;
@@ -169,10 +167,6 @@ void init()
     kprintf("Starting Serenity Operating System...\n");
 
     MemoryManager::initialize();
-
-    StringImpl::initialize_globals();
-    BochsVGADevice::initialize_statics();
-
     PIT::initialize();
 
     memset(&system, 0, sizeof(system));
diff --git a/LibC/entry.cpp b/LibC/entry.cpp
index 8fd78e3e644059..393aec2ddcdf1a 100644
--- a/LibC/entry.cpp
+++ b/LibC/entry.cpp
@@ -18,8 +18,6 @@ extern "C" int _start()
     __stdio_init();
     __malloc_init();
 
-    StringImpl::initialize_globals();
-
     int status = 254;
     int argc;
     char** argv;
diff --git a/SharedGraphics/Font.cpp b/SharedGraphics/Font.cpp
index 3e3f11a6b9dbd4..a7c5e8997faedd 100644
--- a/SharedGraphics/Font.cpp
+++ b/SharedGraphics/Font.cpp
@@ -50,12 +50,6 @@ static inline constexpr size_t font_file_size(unsigned glyph_height)
     return sizeof(FontFileHeader) + 256 * sizeof(dword) * glyph_height;
 }
 
-void Font::initialize()
-{
-    s_default_font = nullptr;
-    s_default_bold_font = nullptr;
-}
-
 Font& Font::default_font()
 {
     static const char* default_font_path = "/res/fonts/LizaRegular8x10.font";
diff --git a/SharedGraphics/Font.h b/SharedGraphics/Font.h
index ebc64b6930d37d..20b7dcfe7f05ac 100644
--- a/SharedGraphics/Font.h
+++ b/SharedGraphics/Font.h
@@ -62,8 +62,6 @@ class Font : public Retainable<Font> {
     String name() const { return m_name; }
     void set_name(const String& name) { m_name = name; }
 
-    static void initialize();
-
 private:
     Font(const String& name, unsigned* rows, byte glyph_width, byte glyph_height);
 
diff --git a/WindowServer/WSMessageLoop.cpp b/WindowServer/WSMessageLoop.cpp
index 00f4b9a63bc3fe..3d5a505b3bfbc8 100644
--- a/WindowServer/WSMessageLoop.cpp
+++ b/WindowServer/WSMessageLoop.cpp
@@ -12,11 +12,6 @@
 
 static WSMessageLoop* s_the;
 
-void WSMessageLoop::initialize()
-{
-    s_the = nullptr;
-}
-
 WSMessageLoop::WSMessageLoop()
 {
     if (!s_the)
diff --git a/WindowServer/WSMessageLoop.h b/WindowServer/WSMessageLoop.h
index 0d232b7c7b738d..ed7412d5c8d9f7 100644
--- a/WindowServer/WSMessageLoop.h
+++ b/WindowServer/WSMessageLoop.h
@@ -19,8 +19,6 @@ class WSMessageLoop {
 
     static WSMessageLoop& the();
 
-    static void initialize();
-
     bool running() const { return m_running; }
     Process& server_process() { return *m_server_process; }
 
diff --git a/WindowServer/WSScreen.cpp b/WindowServer/WSScreen.cpp
index c53ee7a6899751..5e48e16a6f6e3c 100644
--- a/WindowServer/WSScreen.cpp
+++ b/WindowServer/WSScreen.cpp
@@ -7,11 +7,6 @@
 
 static WSScreen* s_the;
 
-void WSScreen::initialize()
-{
-    s_the = nullptr;
-}
-
 WSScreen& WSScreen::the()
 {
     ASSERT(s_the);
diff --git a/WindowServer/WSScreen.h b/WindowServer/WSScreen.h
index bc957b7b542fd8..35f42a1cd153cc 100644
--- a/WindowServer/WSScreen.h
+++ b/WindowServer/WSScreen.h
@@ -21,8 +21,6 @@ class WSScreen {
     Size size() const { return { width(), height() }; }
     Rect rect() const { return { 0, 0, width(), height() }; }
 
-    static void initialize();
-
     Point cursor_location() const { return m_cursor_location; }
     bool left_mouse_button_pressed() const { return m_left_mouse_button_pressed; }
     bool right_mouse_button_pressed() const { return m_right_mouse_button_pressed; }
diff --git a/WindowServer/WSWindowManager.cpp b/WindowServer/WSWindowManager.cpp
index 4a8c3403129437..6b5b4b2a8abd57 100644
--- a/WindowServer/WSWindowManager.cpp
+++ b/WindowServer/WSWindowManager.cpp
@@ -75,11 +75,6 @@ WSWindowManager& WSWindowManager::the()
     return *s_the;
 }
 
-void WSWindowManager::initialize()
-{
-    s_the = nullptr;
-}
-
 static const char* cursor_bitmap_inner_ascii = {
     " #          "
     " ##         "
diff --git a/WindowServer/WSWindowManager.h b/WindowServer/WSWindowManager.h
index dd3a7b17f3a56a..328ba3d8979937 100644
--- a/WindowServer/WSWindowManager.h
+++ b/WindowServer/WSWindowManager.h
@@ -29,8 +29,6 @@ class WSWindowManager : public WSMessageReceiver {
 
     void move_to_front(WSWindow&);
 
-    static void initialize();
-
     void draw_cursor();
 
     void invalidate(const WSWindow&);